Couples often come to therapy when they’ve tried to resolve issues on their own, but continue feeling as if they’re hitting a brick wall. Therapist’s are experts in seeing what’s going on with a relationship. But more importantly, therapists are experts in equipping and supporting each partner to make changes so couples can enjoy a healthy and satisfying relationship. You may be feeling stuck for many reasons, but whatever it is, you deserve the support and the tools to cultivate a safe and loving relationship.

You are not alone! Lots of folks struggle with sexual intimacy for many many reasons. Whether it’s one partner wanting sex more than the other, sexual pain issues, issues with arousal, ejaculation and orgasm, finding overlap of sexual interests, or previous sexual trauma - one thing is certain:

Sexual issues in a relationship can significantly impact the quality of the relationship, and vice versa.

These kind of challenges can be hard for folks to talk about, but if you’re ready to address these with a professional, there is so much progress that can be made. Sex is meant to be exciting and satisfying. Talking with someone trained in sex therapy can help you begin to experience sexual pleasure and connection with those you love.

In addition to being a Licenses Marriage and Family Therapist with a decade of experience, Jessica is in the process of becoming a Certified Sex Therapist. This certification provides her with extensive training, education and supervision that is specifically tailored to improve the sex lives of her clients.

Nearly everyone enters marriage with the dream of a lifelong union. But many couples reach a crisis point where divorce is on the table. Sometimes it's after years of emotional distance, financial problems, sexual problems, or constant arguing. Sometimes it's after a recent affair or an illness that creates an emergency.

Whatever the reason, usually one spouse thinks that divorce is the only way to solve the problem, while the other spouse wants to hang on and make things better. Then they fight about whether to divorce. Once the legal divorce process begins, the alienation and conflict can escalate, and before long all hope for the marriage or for a constructive divorce is gone.

It doesn't have to be this way. 

Discernment Counseling is a new way for couples to pause, take a breath, and look at their options. It's different from traditional marriage counseling aimed at improving the marriage. We don't assume that you both want to preserve the marriage, only that you are both willing to take a look at what's happened to your marriage and decide whether to break up or to try to repair it.

If you or your spouse are considering divorce, I can help you: 

• gain clarity and confidence about what steps to take next with your marriage

• understand what has happened to your marriage

• look at both sides of problems - yours and your spouse's

• determine whether past counseling has been helpful or not so helpful

• evaluate the possibility of solving your problems and staying married

• make a good decision about whether or not to move towards divorce

Counseling for Couples: Discernment Counseling

Discernment counseling is short term, and the focus is not on solving marital problems but on seeing if they could potentially be solved.

• Unlike traditional marriage counseling that assumes that both people are willing to work on the marriage, discernment counseling helps people decide whether to work on their marriage or keep moving towards divorce.

• Unlike individual counseling that usually takes one person's side, the discernment counselor works to understand both partners, even if they see things very differently.

Who is Discernment Counseling for?

Discernment Counseling is for people who are considering divorce but are not completely sure if it's the right path for them. They want to take one more look before making a permanent decision with long term consequences.

It's for people who want to give their marriage another chance even though their spouse is moving towards divorce.

If you are interested in discernment counseling but your spouse is not interested at this time, I can still help.

What Does Discernment Counseling Involve?

The discernment counselor helps individuals and couples decide whether to try to restore their marriage to health, move towards divorce, or take a time out and decide later. The sessions are divided between conversation with the couple together and individual conversations with each spouse. The counselor respects the reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.

The counselor emphasizes the importance of each party seeing his or her own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends. Discernment counseling is considered successful when people have clarity and confidence in their decision.

When a decision emerges, the counselor helps the parties either to find professionals who can help them have a constructive divorce or to formulate a reconciliation work plan to create a healthy, successful marriage. In some cases, couples decide to take a time out from the discernment process and return later.

How many sessions are there?

Discernment counseling involves a maximum of five counseling sessions. The first session is usually 2 hours, and subsequent sessions are 1.5 to 2 hours. Fees for Discernment Counseling are $225/hour.

Discernment Counseling is not suitable when: 

• one spouse has made a final decision to divorce and wants counseling to encourage the other spouse accept that decision

• there is a danger of domestic violence

• there is an Order of Protection from the court

• one spouse is coercing the other to participate

Content about Discernment Counseling taken from: Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project 

Serious about a total relationship overhaul? The Concierge Couples Therapy Program is designed to offer comprehensive therapeutic support to couples who are ready for change.

What does the Concierge program entail?

• Dedicated access to Jess to meet the urgent therapeutic needs of the couple.

• 8 extended video sessions per month, spaced as needed.

• Phone calls throughout the week as needed to be able to support change, offer real time interventions, de-esclate conflicts before the damage is done, and prevent previous relationship patterns from resurfacing.

• Concrete and specific plan to attain goals during the course of the program.

• Practical approaches to relational challenges and step by step support along the way.

• Relational & Sexual Health assessments to promote comprehensive and lasting changes.

• Coordination with other health care providers and supportive recourses, as needed.

How do I know if this is a good fit for our needs?

Great question! And I’m glad you’re asking it. We’ll need to have a consultation to determine if the concierge program or a traditional model of therapy is the best path for you, but some things to think about as you consider your options.

1. Have you tried couples therapy before and made very little progress? Or progress that didn’t stick?

2. Do you find yourself in conflicts with your partner that you struggle to de-escalate?

3. Do you fight about the same issues, with no lasting resolution?

4. Do you currently have to capacity (time, energy, desire) to invest in transforming the foundational dynamic in your relationship?

If you answered “Yes” the any of the above questions or if you’re interested in learning more about the Couples Concierge Therapy Program, fill out the form below and I’ll be in touch. There is a waitlist for concierge services, as I only work with 3 couples at a time to ensure I can dedicate sufficient time to clients in the program.

A little more about me:

It’s important to make sure that you feel good about the therapists you choose to work with. Therapy is an investment in your life and relationships, and you should feel good about who you choose to support you. I love working with couples, and helping people find joy in their relationships.

I’m married to my lovely husband, Matt. We have 3 young kids that keep us very busy. I ‘m a native Texan, but have lived all over the US. I like to have fun, be active and spend lots of time with friends and family. I’m in the process of becoming a Certified Sex Therapist (it’s a long road with loads of good training). Mostly, I am very much a work in progress. I’m learning and growing and messing up along the way just like you.

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